Living Beautifully: First Impressions

“Hair style is the final tip-off whether or not a woman really knows herself.”
~ Hubert De Givenchy, Vogue (July 1985)

SPRING'S in the air. You’ve just gotten a new makeover and your face looks fab! Maybe you’ve added a few new pieces to your wardrobe, but now your hair style needs a serious update.

Brenda Kinsel, bestselling author of several books, including 40 over 40: 40 Things Every Woman Over 40 needs to Know About Getting Dressed, shares this interesting hair tip:

“Go to a new hair designer looking your best self. Introduce yourself to the hairdresser fully clothed the first time, before they get you into a smock. Let the hairdresser see who you are. Here’s a place where first impressions will really help ensure that you get the cut that works with your lifestyle and taste.”

Although what I'm going to tell you isn’t a hair salon experience, I’ll always remember when I first came to the city as a young woman looking for her first job. I decided to put in my application at a temporary agency, hoping that this step would help get my foot in the door of a nice place to work in the downtown area.

But I didn’t think at the time that it really mattered to dress up for this initial interview with the agency – after all it wasn’t an employer who was seeing me. But I began to wonder when the jobs I kept getting were never in those nice offices downtown, but in more casual, industrial kind of places. It wasn’t until much later that I realized the agency's first impression of me was that I was a 'jeans' kind of girl, and so the jobs they sent me to were to the casual jeans kind of sites.

It’s true, first impressions matter...at job interviews, and now we learn even at hair salons. If you haven’t been getting the style you want, maybe you’re giving them the wrong impression of who you are in ‘real’ life.

I never really thought about what I was wearing or how my hair looked when I arrived at a salon; after all, they were going to wash it and re-do it all anyway.  But if they only see me...you... in a way that doesn't reflect us at our most authentic times, no wonder we can walk away disappointed. 

That first impression turns out to be the unconscious standard they refer to forever after. So it's something to keep in mind for all our first encounters... not just in hair salons.

Here’s to living your life more beautifully... more truly you!

Living Beautifully: Do It With Joy!

"Do it with joy."

It was the phrase I heard in the stillness one early morning

as I got myself ready for the day.

Do it with joy?

Whether it's a perfectly ordinary day
or a day that's up-side-down?

Whether it's a day filled with bad news
or the need to make a hard decision?

Whether it's facing the same old, same old?

The dentist's chair?

A new situation that makes me feel so, so uncomfortable?

Yes! Yes!

For, as I have been discovering...

Making the choice to go about our days in the spirit of joy will shift things

in our hearts which somehow shifts the atmosphere around us!

When I choose joy over anxiety,
joy over feeling despondent,
joy when I'd rather disappear and not face the situation,
joy even when I'm tired and w-e-a-r-y of heart

...whenever Joy arrives she brings her strong companion, Strength.

 And with that strength comes a growing confidence that
I can pull my shoulders back and face whatever 'it' is
because this affliction - thankfully - too shall pass.

So today, I invite you to join me, and in whatever you must do,
choose to do it with joy....

And, I'd love to hear how that works for you!






Photo source:  The Graphics Fairy

Living Beautifully: You're The Queen

YEARS AGO I had an opportunity to hear Miss America 1980 Cheryl Prewitt-Salem speak at a women's conference.  She was an inspiring speaker and I'll never forget the one thought she shared on being happy...how we as women have the ability to choose to be happy... any time, any place, any situation.

As a young woman, I was surprised to learn that the choice for being happy was always within my reach. I guess I'd assumed up until that point, when the grumpies made their appearance, I just had to live with it (as did everyone else around me) until the mood passed, and happy came back.

It was such a startling idea for me.  You mean I didn't have to let the bad mood run its course, that I had the ability to choose?  Every. Single.Time?  Even on those PMS days?

Yes, yes... when I took hold of that idea, I found it to be true. And it changed my life!

I learned that we do not have to pick the ball even if it's been thrown into our court.  I don't know if Queens hold out scepters to their subjects, but if they do, as the Queen of my world, I do not have to 'hold court' with grumpy bad moods.

I get to choose who lives in my sphere.  I get to choose whether my mood rules me... or... I rule it!

Most times it's such a split second choice -- between going ahead and 'letting it all out' -- or being more graceful and deciding to be happy even if I'm not 'in the mood'.  

Let's be honest here.... some days it is not easy.  At all.  Sometimes I don't choose happy in that first moment, but, what I have found is that the decision I made that day long ago has governed most of my days ever since.  (I think that's a good batting average.)

Being in charge... being able to choose to be happy, no matter what, literally changed my life for the better, for the more beautiful.

It can do the same for you!

Be the Queen..... choose to be happy.... live beautifully!


 ***

"Most folks are about as happy
as they make up their minds to be."
~ Abraham Lincoln


***

Photo source:  miss america.org

Graphic source:  glitter graphics.com

Living Beautifully: Live From Your Heart

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WE LIVE in a society where the language of the mind—reasoning and logical ideas—rules. But I have come to recognize in my own life, especially as a woman, that when I live more out of my heart than my head, I am more alive and more in tune with who I really am inside.

Author and speaker Mark Virkler considers the language of our heart to be pictures, emotions, spontaneous thoughts (intuitive), and faith. The language of the heart speaks beauty and hope. It speaks truth in love. It is different from the language of the mind.

I've talked before about choosing work and projects that make our hearts sing. When I’m working on a project because my mind tells me “It’s a good idea, you’ll make good money at it,” but my heart says, “I don’t like it, I don’t care how much money’s involved,” guess what, only my head is happy. But if the project touches beauty, love and hope in some way, as well as money, then my head and my heart are both happy.

Grace Note:

We’ve all heard the phrase a picture is worth a thousand words. So right now, picture a project that makes your heart sing. Something that matters to your heart.  When we live from our hearts, we love, we care, we reach out and make a difference because our heart is touched. If we would allow our hearts more time on the floor, I believe we would be happier, more content, and more passionate about our lives.

Living Beautifully: Are You Craving Colour?

DO YOU EVER get so busy or you've worked so hard on something that you've grown weary in body and soul? Or maybe the weather has been rainy or snowy for weeks, and the world just doesn't seem as bright and beautiful at the moment? In fact it begins to look a little gray around the edges?


Well, that's how I must have felt one morning a few years ago when I made a visit to my blogging friend Katherine's blog at Sew Me Something Good. I felt as if I'd been dropped into a large paint tray or a new box of crayons. My soul must have been craving colour! I felt like a sponge soaking it all up.

If you've noticed your world looking a little gray, here are 13 ideas that might help you add a new splash of colour and zest to your life:

1. Visit Katherine's blog.


2. Visit a quilting/fabric store in person.


3. Buy a big new box of crayons (the biggest box you can find) and a colouring book or blank art book. Now spend some time playing with all the wonderful shades and hues.


4. Go to the nearest scrapbooking, stationery or paint store and let your eyes rove over the displays of paper and colour samples.


5. Add more colour to your home. If you've got beige walls, buy some new cushions in some stunning new colour.


6. Alexandra Stoddard puts brightly coloured pencils in a holder and sets them on her desk.


7. Fill a jar with jellybeans or jube-jubes. A friend once gave me a jar full of jube-jubes -- they looked like bright jewels on my desk.


8. Buy a new scarf for your fall jacket. If you are normally conservative in your choices, be bold and outrageous -- choose a colour you wouldn't normally pick.


9. If you've still got fall colours in your neighbourhood, go for a walk in it. Bring autumn branches and berries into your house and set them in a large vase.


10. Visit an art gallery. Or visit your child's school -- their walls are often displayed with vibrant and joyful art.


11. Buy a magazine with lots of great photos, e.g. art, photography, quilting, scrapbooking, sewing.


12. Buy a handful of blossoms from the florist shop.


13. Enjoy checking out the new season's line of lipsticks.

   

Now go live your life more beautifully...

 photo source:  glitter-graphics.com

Living Beautifully: Clear Out the Clutter

A SIGNIFICANT ASPECT of living a beautiful and successful life includes taking the time to clear out the accumulation of waste and clutter.  Whether it's our homes, our desk or home office, as Alexandra Stoddard tells us in her book entitled Living A Beautiful Life:

"...we must clean out the excess baggage in our lives on a rational and regular basis. ... There comes a time when you must take action; make a ceremony out of serious straightening up.  Plan for it."

Alexandra goes on to say that when she worked as an interior designer years ago, at her office, they had one day once a month where they made no outside appointments and they would attack their files, clean up all the clutter and create order.

"A few hours of chaos and suddenly you feel exhilarated, just from throwing out. ... A regular, serious attack on mess and unnecessary clutter, performed with a glad heart, makes you feel in control of all the parts of your life you care about."

Whether your home needs it today, or your workspace or office, turn on some glad music, put your heart into it for a few minutes or hours.  Let your fingers clear out the mess and set things to rights.  If you're like me, you'll find as you do that, your mind also starts clearing out its own confusion.  And before you know it, ideas uncover themselves in unexpected ways.

Take time this week... to set your physical space in order.  You'll be glad you did.

Now go live beautifully... and successfully!

Living Beautifully...Scatter Joy

S-c-a-t-t-e-r   joy.
Ralph Waldo Emerson



Click here for a short movie entitled Finding Joy.
by Simple Truths




You have to sniff out joy.
Keep your nose to the joy trail.
Buffy Sainte-Marie




Joy is the infallible sign
of the Presence of God.
Rev. Joyce




There are souls in this world
which have the gift of finding joy
everywhere and of leaving it behind them when they go.
Frederick Wm. Faber




Heaven, the treasury of everlasting Joy.
Shakespeare





Wishing you JOY for the journey! 

Living Beautifully: On New Endings

IF YOU HAVE ever thought that it all might be too late for you... too late to get it right, too late to be a success at your business, your marriage, your relationships; too late at following a hidden dream, I want to encourage you with this wonderful quote by Maria Robinson:

"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending."

Let hope arise in your hearts. Our past does not have to be married to our future. That's one place where a divorce might be a good thing. No matter what's gone on before, it's possible to start today and make a new ending. And I've learned that if it looks totally impossible in our own strength, I cry out to the God of this Universe, who said nothing is impossible with Him... if only I believe!

So, here's to new endings.... happy ones!

Living Beautifully: Circle of Friendship

"I'm convinced that one mustn't wait

for people to reach out ~ we must reach in."

~ Jan Karon, author of the Mitford series

"You can't stay in your corner of the Forest

waiting for others to come to you.

You have to go to them sometimes."

 ~ A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

SOMETIMES WE WAIT for someone else to invite us out for coffee, to notice we're having a down day, or to remember it's our birthday. At a party or conference, we stand around hoping someone will come over and say hi because we feel too shy.

I used to do that, and I realized that, ofttimes, my supposed 'shyness' had a lot to do with my fear of rejection. I used to worry about being snubbed, so I was reluctant to risk going over and introducing myself.

As I say, that's how I used to be, until I started paying attention to those wise ancient words that perfect love casts out fear. We overcome our fear when we choose to forget about ourselves, and start focusing on someone else.

I like what Jan Karon said -- we shouldn't wait for someone else to reach out to us. If we want to be a part of the group, then why not look for someone else who looks nervous too. Why not focus on making her feel more comfortable, and you'll find yourself forgetting about your own discomfort. You could open the conversation by expressing something complimentary.  Watch those words change the atmosphere. The fear leaves, the rejection leaves, you both begin to relax as you each experience that beautiful sense of belonging, of fitting in.

We'll never be on the outside looking in when we are the ones opening the circle to welcome someone new into our lives. A circle that does not exclude, but is ever widening to enfold a new consultant, neighbour, co-worker, or fellow conference attender.

When I started taking the initiative to reach out, I was amazed at easy it began to be to walk into a room without fear.  I love it. Talk about it changing my life for the better....and the more beautiful.

Here's to ever widening circles of friends!

Living Beautifully: Do You Sing?

 

 
MANY OF US may remember the little tune the seven dwarfs whistled in the old Disney movie, Snow White. It seems even these short fellows recognized that their musical whistling helped make the work feel lighter and easier to bear.

Sometimes we find ourselves in a work situation or project where the song in our heart has died or has been replaced by a weary sighing or, even worse, a growl-y grumbling. We don't feel like whistling or singing anymore.

Maybe that's the time when we need to stop and think about what we do every day; maybe we need to re-consider the current path we're traveling on.

Lady Bird Johnson once gave the sage advice that we should work on projects that make our hearts sing.

Ever since I read those words, I tried to let them shape my decisions. I do not believe that life is meant to be a drudgery. I believe that life is meant to be lived beautifully. Oh sure, we go through hard experiences, but we don't stay there.

The projects we sign up for -- voluntarily or as a career -- should not dampen our spirits, but rather they should provide a venue for contentment, abiding joy, and a sense of bubbling adventure. They should energize and fuel us, not drizzle on us till there's only a damp smoldering pile where passion once burned bright.

A few years ago, my song almost died, because I was afraid to move out from a workplace that no longer gave me joy and fulfillment. Life no longer felt beautiful.

To me, a clear signpost of whether or not a person is still doing what she should be doing, is whether the song is still in her heart, whether life still seems beautiful and sweet.

If there's no song your heart, maybe it's time to re-think what will make life beautiful again for you.  I'm happy to report the nightingale sings again for me.

Now I ask you, do you sing?

Living Beautifully: The Grace of Compliment

I WILL NEVER FORGET the time during my early 20's, when I became acquainted with a woman who would often greet me with the salutation, "Hello Beauteous One!" At first I thought she just picked that phrase out of the wind as a cute way to say hi, yet every time we'd meet, she would address me the same way. It was always done with such grace and sincerity that I began to look forward to bumping into her, so I could hear her say those words again.  And she would!

I've sometimes wondered if she recognized that I needed such a message at that time in my life. As I was growing up, in my heart of hearts, I never felt beautiful. But, as this woman kept 'watering' my heart, reinforcing this positive message time after time, I began to blossom under those affirming words.

There is something deep within the feminine heart of each woman that needs to know she's lovely in someone's eyes. Could it be that's why we can obsess about how we look... we want to know, Am I beautiful?

Not that long ago, when I asked my husband of some years something about being beautiful. He has always affirmed since we first met that in his eyes, I am beautiful, with or without my makeup on.

But this particular day, I deliberately made a choice to believe him. The amazing thing was that my heart settled into that knowledge and I haven't obsessed about how I look since. Now that doesn't mean I dress like a slob, I don't, but if the hair-do isn't perfect, or the nose is red from a cold windy day, I rest in the knowledge that his eyes still behold me beautifully.


It's made my life more beautiful. I hope you find that to be true for yourself as well!

Grace Note

For the rest of the week, why not look for ways you can lavishly hand out compliments to the women around you... compliments that you mean, of course....and then remember to deliberately believe any you receive from others.

Rose Photo Source:  Graphics Fairy

Living Beautifully: It's All in the Layering

"I want my life to be like a rich four-layer chocolate cake."

HAVE YOU EVER EATEN a delicious four-layer birthday cake? One of those delectable mile-high desserts where, between every chocolate-y layer, a new flavor bursts on your taste buds? It's heavenly, isn't it?

I've decided I would like my life to be like a rich four-layer chocolate cake. Interesting and slightly unpredictable, with promises of rich creamy texture, sweetness, and crunch in every bite.

Just as the baker of such a flavourful dessert can choose, so too we can put such delight between the layers of our daily existence. Of course we can have a simple one-layer sponge cake, doing laundry or our business all day long, but wouldn't it be more fun to anticipate a day layered with different tastes, textures, and experiences......

It may be an old cliche, but it seems to be true: variety is the spice of life. Layer your days with an assortment of activities, people, and experiences...and you'll notice life will start to burst forth with more flavor.

Mmmm... won't you have a slice with me?

Photo Source:  thegraphicsfairy.com